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Literature Text
A circus in town is greeted with joy,
Parents are begged by their girls and boys,
But nobody notices the music’s off tune,
Nobody senses the incoming doom.
So eager. So impatient. Hours early and yet still full. Line after line, guided along by helpful policemen leading the cars. And outcome the children, laughing and shouting, running ahead, ignoring their parents calling. At the entrance they’re greeted by the ringmaster himself, smirking and laughing, giving coupons to all.
“Come in, come in. Welcome to the circus, make sure you get some cotton candy! Where are your parents? Wait for them here, after all you’re going to want your family near.”
The parents catch up, and claim their kids, then go off to see the animals, lions, elephants, and zebras. Time passes, snack are gotten, and the show begins, everyone heads into the crowded, slightly tattered tent.
The beginning, everything bright and cheery, the ringmaster shouting “Introducing!” Out comes the zebras, decked in saddles and feathers, being ridden by acrobats standing on their backs. The acrobats jump down and climb to the top, jumping and swinging, dancing about. There’s a man with a whip, urging the zebra, making them execute tricks and feats.
The cheers are loud and plentiful, people amazed and unsure where to look. As they watch they eat their treats. Then comes the clowns, laughing and falling, painted smiles on their faces. The ringmaster’s smile grew as the clapping and laughing faded. As the clowns danced, it was not because the audience wasn't amused, but because the food was kicking in.
The audience was still as the jugglers came in, unable to move unable to scream. The jugglers had knives, not balls, which they threw in the air with skill that would inspire awe. But as they caught knife after knife, they tossed them out. The knives found new homes in men and women alike, unable to move, unable to fight.
But perhaps they got off easy, the ones that bled, for the finale was not lions, but fire instead.
Ah, what a lovely circus that was. Led by a lunatic, but it had no flaws.
Parents are begged by their girls and boys,
But nobody notices the music’s off tune,
Nobody senses the incoming doom.
So eager. So impatient. Hours early and yet still full. Line after line, guided along by helpful policemen leading the cars. And outcome the children, laughing and shouting, running ahead, ignoring their parents calling. At the entrance they’re greeted by the ringmaster himself, smirking and laughing, giving coupons to all.
“Come in, come in. Welcome to the circus, make sure you get some cotton candy! Where are your parents? Wait for them here, after all you’re going to want your family near.”
The parents catch up, and claim their kids, then go off to see the animals, lions, elephants, and zebras. Time passes, snack are gotten, and the show begins, everyone heads into the crowded, slightly tattered tent.
The beginning, everything bright and cheery, the ringmaster shouting “Introducing!” Out comes the zebras, decked in saddles and feathers, being ridden by acrobats standing on their backs. The acrobats jump down and climb to the top, jumping and swinging, dancing about. There’s a man with a whip, urging the zebra, making them execute tricks and feats.
The cheers are loud and plentiful, people amazed and unsure where to look. As they watch they eat their treats. Then comes the clowns, laughing and falling, painted smiles on their faces. The ringmaster’s smile grew as the clapping and laughing faded. As the clowns danced, it was not because the audience wasn't amused, but because the food was kicking in.
The audience was still as the jugglers came in, unable to move unable to scream. The jugglers had knives, not balls, which they threw in the air with skill that would inspire awe. But as they caught knife after knife, they tossed them out. The knives found new homes in men and women alike, unable to move, unable to fight.
But perhaps they got off easy, the ones that bled, for the finale was not lions, but fire instead.
Ah, what a lovely circus that was. Led by a lunatic, but it had no flaws.
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Okay. I think this is kinda bad... It could of been good. But I don't know, I think I failed. I love the opening poem though. And I had this random rhyming thing? Like it would appear at random? And I know that isn't good. Anyway, I finished it, and I can in fact write better, at least I think I can. Critiques are welcome, in fact I might bug some people for them. So yeah. 
© 2013 - 2024 Pokey-Bunny
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Given the little taster of rhyme at the start, I would love to see this concept re-written as a poem in its entirety. I almost think you could do it in a manner akin to Roald Dahl's poetry for children, in which he took storybook themes and twisted them into something quite gruesome, for example: ace.home.xs4all.nl/Literaria/T…
I think that a jaunty rhythm and rhyming scheme would add an even more discordant edge to your theme.
You're doing that thing a bit with past and present (i.e. "the parents catch up" then, later, "the knives found new homes"). It's not as noticeable in this one but it's something to watch.
I agree with what hananoyosuke has said on this. Regarding your sentence structure and commas, I kind of think you want to write it as a poem.
I think you were almost trying to, really. It feels like it ought to be because of the peculiar pacing that has emerged.
I think that a jaunty rhythm and rhyming scheme would add an even more discordant edge to your theme.
You're doing that thing a bit with past and present (i.e. "the parents catch up" then, later, "the knives found new homes"). It's not as noticeable in this one but it's something to watch.
I agree with what hananoyosuke has said on this. Regarding your sentence structure and commas, I kind of think you want to write it as a poem.
I think you were almost trying to, really. It feels like it ought to be because of the peculiar pacing that has emerged.